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like she might have hoarder tendencies. Sort of low on the hoarder scale, but enough to be a problem. The way she has to ask about every single item, what to do with it, that's very hoarderish. Hoarders can't throw things away, their reasons vary but the actions are the same. If you weren't there, her house might look full-blown hoarder. (disclaimer, everything I know about hoarders is from watching hoarders on TV. But I've watched a lot of it) If that's the way she's wired it's difficult to impossible to "fix." She would have to be totally motivated and you'd spend big bucks on therapy. If you want your marriage to last, I'd find a way to afford the housekeeper. And accept a lot of the burden fall to you. Spend minutes before bed clearing clutter and throwing away trash. I know you'd like the solution for her to pull her weight, but what if that never happens? It's going to come down to the choice of being right or happy. "Right" would be going on strike, having a clean area for you, continuing to try to change the unchangeable. Happy would be having a clean house. You have to decide if this is about a clean house or your wife's behavior. If it's about a clean house then find a way to get a housekeeper or do it all yourself. It's about your wife's behavior, I'm not very optimistic. Tweet
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